


The Better Batman

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Holidays [11]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Batman who Laughs - Fandom, The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Arson, F/M, Gotham City - Freeform, Joker and Harley have a good relationship, Joker dressing up, New Years, Robin - Freeform, Sex, Smut, Vigilantism, firefly - Freeform, playing Batman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 04:35:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17257676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Joker and Harley have plans for the new year.





	The Better Batman

“You know what this city needs for the new year Harley?” Joker asked as he lounged on the couch in his green and red boxers. He was shirtless, his long legs hanging over the arm of the chair, his blue and white polka dot socks nearly falling off his feet as he tossed up M&Ms into the air, catching them in his mouth as they fell to back to him. 

Harley, her blonde hair loose around her shoulders, came in from their little kitchen dressed in a tiny red t-shirt that barely covered her breasts and shoulders and a pair of black panties. Her bare feet made very little sound as she walked across the floor, then onto the living room carpet carrying a bowl of popcorn and a glass of chocolate milk. She smiled as Joker lifted his legs into the air, allowing her to sit down. She held her bowl and glass up as he dropped his pale legs back down onto her lap. 

She placed her bowl on his legs as she giggled. “An enema?” 

Joker giggled. “No--well, actually yes my darling poo. No, this town needs a better Batman.” 

Harley leaned over to the grab the television remote, turning on the TV to start the movie they planned to watch tonight. 

“Whatcha mean a better Batman puddin?” Harley asked her nose wrinkled in curiosity as she flipped through the choices, looking for the movie they wanted. 

Joker grinned crunching on a peanut M&M. “I mean, crime in Gotham is still high. I’m still free...Batman just isn’t doing a good job now is he?” 

Harley tossed some of Joker’s M&Ms into her popcorn mixing them up with her fingers as she nodded her agreement. “No he isn’t puddin, not at all. He lets us all run around like we own Gotham. I mean, have you seen some of the stuff we’ve done? And we just keep getting away. He is just really bad at his job.” She shook her head like a disappointed mother. 

Joker grinned and nodded his agreement. “He does! So what kind of crime fighting is that? I mean it's not just us that gets away or gets out! It’s all of us: Penguin, Two-Face, Scarecrow...hell, even that douchebag Red Hood!!” 

He sat up and reached over to grab a handful of M&Ms and popcorn, tossing some into his mouth, then chewed thoughtfully for a moment. “You know Harls, if you think about it, Batman had a hand in creating us all too! What kind of vigilante does that? A bad one I say! A bad one!” 

Harley sipped her milk and nodded at the same time. When she spoke she had a mustache of chocolate milk on her upper lip. “You’re right puddin. He is really bad at his job.” 

Joker grinned at her, leaned closer to wrap a hand around the back of her neck, and pulled her closer. Harley giggled leaning into him, her smile widening as Joker ran his tongue over her upper lip licking away the milk. 

He leaned his forehead against hers as he whispered conspiratorially. “I have an idea Harley, a wonderful, awful idea.” 

Harley giggled, her eyes dancing with anticipation and merriment. “Tell me puddin, what’s your wonderful, awful idea?” 

“We are going to be the new Batman--the new Batman and Robin. We are going to be the ones to clean up this city.” Joker giggled. 

Harley frowned, glancing down in thought before she whispered. “But, didn’t we sort of do that already puddin? Our April Fools prank?” 

Joker rolled his eyes and made a rude noise. “Ppfft!! This is going to be totally different sweets! That was one night of fun with the boys...no...no. This time we are going to really clean up Gotham!! We are going to hunt down all the baddies we can find, but we are also going to do something completely different. Batman never kills anyone right? Which is part of the problem. So we are going to fix that! We are going to kill every bad guy we find! Do some real cleaning in this old town!” 

Harley continued to frown as she asked. “But what about our friends? What if we catch them? We don’t want to kill our friends, do we puddin? Or...not all of them?” 

Joker twisted his lips, his eyes darting to the side in thought as he gently massaged the back of Harley’s neck. “All right, if we catch any of our friends...” He stressed the word in a funny way that made Harley giggle. She knew that their “friends” were mostly her friends and that Joker couldn’t really care less about them, he only cared where she was concerned. “We’ll just do like the Bats and drop them off at Arkham. They’ll be annoyed, but…” He shrugged. “Who cares!” 

Harley grinned with pleasure and rubbed her nose against his nose. “Oh puddin, that sounds fun, for one night.” Harley stressed this: she didn’t want her Mistah J thinking she wanted to play good all the time. She sighed relaxing. “So...ah, am I going to be your sidekick?” 

Joker tilted his head and kissed her, his tongue slid into her mouth, caressing her tongue while his lips moved gently over hers, his fingers moved tenderly over the back of her neck. The kiss had Harley instantly on fire. When he broke the kiss, she wanted to whine. 

“You, my dear, are never my sidekick. You are my partner Harls, always my partner.” Joker said with a wide smile. “Never, ever a sidekick my dearest.” Joker kissed the tip of her nose before he released her, though not completely. His fingers threaded through her hair, playing with the thick locks as he frowned in thought. Harley smiled and leaned into his touch as she popped a handful of the popcorn candy mix into her mouth. 

“I think we need to think about costumes,” Joker said. “That is the most important part of fighting crime, the ability to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies and look good doing it! Batman would be nothing without his costume!” Joker tapped his chin in thought. 

Harley grinned. “I think I might have an idea puddin, if you trust me.” 

Joker grinned bringing some of her hair up to his red lips, his eyes dancing with delight. “Tell me Harls!” 

Harley grinned. “How do you feel about buckles and leather?” 

Joker’s smile widened, spreading across his face as he giggled. “Oooh...very dominatrix Harley girl. Do I get a whip like Catwoman?” 

Harley snorted. “No, but maybe you could use a chain!” She grinned and sat up in her excitement. “I was thinking really high pointed ears, a Dracula like collar that stands up, black leather form fitting outfit with straps across your chest and shoulders, a long black shredded cape, and some lace up black boots.” Harley drew her fingers across her eyes. “We could also put this weird mask across your eyes that has spikes along it, really make you look bad ass puddin.” 

Joker chuckled, picturing it. “Bad ass, eh?” 

Harley nodded picking up some popcorn. “Yep, Badass.” 

Joker laughed. “Oh I love it Harls. Okay, now…” He leaned a little closer. “What would you wear?” 

Harley tapped her chin. “Let’s see, I’ll just make myself a similar costume!” She shrugged. “Just add some red here and there.” She grinned, pleased with herself. 

Joker frowned, reaching into the bowl of popcorn and M&Ms. “There is one problem Harls--you can’t sew.” 

Harley stuck her tongue out. “Oh fine, I’ll just get Bob to help me.” 

Joker chuckled then, feeding her a couple of bites of popcorn and M&Ms. “Don’t you mean you’ll just get Bob to make them?” 

She wrinkled her nose at him, but giggled around a mouthful. “Okay fine, Bob will make them. I really should get him to teach me how to sew,” she mumbled before she took a sip of chocolate milk, then handed the glass to Joker. 

Joker shook his head. “Nah, Bob loves sewing. You just leave it to him sweets and focus on what you do best...ME!” 

Joker set the glass aside, grabbing the bowl and doing the same before he grabbed Harley by the wrists and laid back down on the couch, forcing her to twist around and lay on top of him. 

“Ah, that’s much better!” He sighed wrapping his arms around her. 

Harley smiled down at him, kissing his chin, then his nose before she planted a light kiss on his lips. “Do you want to come up with new weapons to use too?” 

Joker creased his brow in thought, glancing up at the ceiling before he murmured. “Nah, not really...well maybe just a couple of things. The chain is a nice touch, perhaps a few Jokerized batterangs, but let's stick to the basics, the tried and true touches that are uniquely us my sweet pumpkin poo.” He snickered giving her a tight squeeze. “We don’t want anyone to mistake us for the old Bat now do we?” He wrinkled his nose at her and gave her a light kiss. “Besides, our toys are just as good as if not better than Batboob’s gizmos.” 

Harley giggled and snuggled close. She closed her eyes pressing her nose against his skin, peppered his pale chest with kisses before she spoke. “That’s true puddin. You are so much better that Batsy! You are going to be a great Batman!” 

Joker smiled glowing under Harley’s praise. “You are so right my dear!” 

Harley continued to litter his chest with kisses, her soft lips brushing against his nipples made Joker shiver pleasantly. He slipped his hand along the dip in her spine, then up over her rear, his long fingers sliding under between her panties and her skin. Her skin was smooth, soft and warm. He pressed his fingers into the round softness of her tush grinning. Sometimes the desire to sink his teeth gently into her was almost too much. She was so soft and he wanted her so much...he wanted to take a bite of her, to leave a little mark. 

Harley wiggled a little against him where she rested between his legs. She could feel that he was hardening under her touch. She shifted one of her legs, wrapping the limb around his long thin leg, her foot rubbing against his leg. 

Joker purred softly, spreading his fingers, catching the fabric of her panties and scooting them down a little before he pulled his hands out and grabbed her panties pushing them down further. Harley responded with a giggle as she shifted and wiggled reaching down with one hand to help slide her panties down her legs. She got the thin fabric to her knees before Joker yanked her up to kiss her. His hands glided up and down her back as they kissed, enjoying the smooth slopes of her body. 

Harley slid a hand down as she rolled to her right a little, her hand reaching down to cup his erection over his boxers. Joker groaned and his hips jerked at her touch. She squeezed and rubbed him, feeling him grow harder and tighter in her hand. 

Their kissing heated, deepened. Joker moved one hand up to cup the back of her head, his fingers becoming lost in the thick blanket of her blonde hair as his tongue caressed her, groaned against her lips as Harley squeezed him. She let go of him to slide her hand under the band of his boxers. She made a soft sound of pleasure when her fingers wrapped around his member, warm and hard in her hand. She kissed him, her tongue sliding and caressing his tongue, leaning into the kiss, her teeth catching his tongue. 

Joker groaned again when her hand wrapped around him. Her fingers were so soft and when she stroked up and down his shaft, his entire body moved with her. The urge to thrust was strong as she continued to rub him, her loosening and tightening as she stroked her hand up and down him, her thumb rubbing around the soft head of his penis. 

Harley smiled when she felt his fingers pressing into her back with each stroke of her hand. She stroked her hand down letting go of him only long enough to reach down and cup her fingers around his testicles, squeezing gently before she brought her fingers back around him. 

He arched his hips slightly with a moan. “Mmm...ah Harley…” 

Harley smiled, loving the way he moaned her name. She brushed her nose against his, licking his lips before she let go of him, sliding down his body and pulled his boxers down past his erection as best she could, then wrapped her lips around his shaft. 

Joker’s gasp was followed by a low deep moan. He swallowed heavily, looking down at Harley. She had her legs bent, slowly kicking her feet back and forth, one arm on his thigh while she stroked him with her other hand. He couldn’t see much beyond that as her hair had fallen over to hide her face, but he could certainly feel what she was doing, the warm breath of her mouth, the wet glide of her tongue against him. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth reaching down and stroke her hair back from her face, hissing when he saw her. She looked up to meet his gaze, her blue eyes bright, her mouth wrapped around him and her lips pressed against his skin. She smiled around him and Joker groaned with pleasure. She sucked while at the same time she caressed him with her fingertips, her mouth moving slowly up and down followed by her tongue slipping and sliding along him. Joker dropped his head back with another low moan then a smile as a thought came to him. 

“Harley..uhh...Harley pumpkin...stop for a moment. I got...Mm...I have an idea.” Joker grinned with each shutter she caused him. 

Harley, who had lowered her mouth down on him until her nose brushed his stomach while his shaft filled her mouth and touched the back of her throat, looked up curiously. She slowly pulled her lips up, her tongue playing back and forth as she raised her head and smiled. 

“What is it puddin?” she asked between placing soft kissing on the head of his erection followed by the delicate scrape of her teeth against his satin soft skin. 

Joker licked his lips with a smile as he eyed her. She was so beautiful, he thought, with her golden hair and bright blue eyes, but that smile...He sighed before he spoke. “I want you on your back, you just keep doing what you’re doing sweets, but Daddy wants a little treat too.” 

Harley blushed, her cheeks turning rosy as she jumped to her feet. Once on her feet she shimmied out of her panties at the same time Joker stood and kicked his boxers off. Harley pulled her tiny t-shirt off over her head, tossed it aside, distracting Joker for a moment with the happy jiggle of her breasts. 

Harley giggled when she saw that Joker had left his socks on. 

Joker followed her eyes down and shrugged. “My feet are cold.” 

She giggled again, stepping closer to run her fingers down his chest and along his stomach, her eyes sultry as she whispered. “It’s fine puddin. I think it’s cute.” 

Joker grinned and pointed at the couch. “Down, now.” 

Harley stepped back and gave him a smart salute. “On it Mistah J!” 

Harley laughed and flopped down on the couch. She wiggled her backside into the old beat up, yet comfy cushions followed by a bright smile. “All ready puddin.” 

Joker waggled his eyebrows as he stepped closer. “Good.” 

Harley squealed with delight as he carefully, if a little awkwardly, got on top of her, except turned around. His dangling erection was over her mouth. Harley beamed, reaching up to wrap her arms around his hips, her hands caressing his sides, down over his rear, his hips and lastly along the back of his thighs leaning up to flick her tongue across the head of his erection. She wrapped her hand around his erection guiding him down to her mouth while her other hand caressed his testicles, sliding and tickling the sensitive spot right under them, her fingers sliding up further, then down again while she sucked gently at him. 

Joker pressed his teeth against his red bottom lip, his eyes fluttering when she flicked her tongue over him, but mostly it was the tender caress of her fingers that really excited him. No one touched him like Harley, not that he would allow anyone but her to touch him, but there was something so special about her touch on his skin. All other forms of physical touch were violent, Batman’s slugging him until he was broken or bleeding, being shot by a competing villain, or any number of other wounds and damage he had received in his career as the Clown Prince of Crime contrasted with Harley’s sweet tender caresses. He chuckled to himself as he thought: one extreme to the other. 

He pushed the thoughts aside as he gently shoved one of her legs off the couch, opening her up to him. He smiled and leaned down to bury his tongue and lips against her sex. He placed his hand above her clitoris, gently pulling back to reveal the small bundle of nerves, all bright pink and perfect; with a smile he slid his tongue between her folds. He flicked his tongue back and forth slowly, leaning back a bit to rest his chest against her stomach, grunting when Harley moaned, the vibration racing up from around his penis to somewhere deep inside him. He groaned, opening his mouth wide against her sex, moving his head slowly back and forth, scooting his hands under her to hold rear in his hands while he sucked deeply on her. 

Harley pulled Joker from her mouth in order to howl with pleasure, her climax swift and intense. Her pelvis arched up to meet the attentions of his mouth, but when she felt the vibration of Joker’s laugh against her she wrapped her mouth around him, moaning with him between her lips. 

Joker grinned licking her slowly taking his sweet time to drag his tongue over her, which he swiftly followed with sweet kisses pressed against her. He could taste her pleasure, taste the sweetness of her orgasm, and it made his groin ache with want. He pressed his lips against her clitoris again and sucked until Harley's hips rose up off the couch; she made incoherent sounds of pleasure as she peaked again. 

She released him from her mouth and dropped her head back with a gasp. “Oh puddin!” 

Joker gave her one more long lick before he rolled off of her. 

Harley pushed herself up on her elbows, a pout on her lips. “Puddin!” 

Joker turned around with a laugh his hands on his hips. “Oh, don’t pout pumpkin. You know Daddy wouldn’t leave you unsatisfied!” 

She grinned happily and began to move off the couch, but he put a hand on her shoulder. “Just roll onto your side sweets.” 

Harley blinked for a moment before she smiled, doing as he requested and rolled onto her side facing out toward their television that was still on, the voices on the screen having become a low background hum and their movie completely forgotten. 

Joker laid down behind her, balancing himself on his elbow as he pulled her up a bit to help her lay the back of her head against the couch’s arm. 

Harley twisted around to look over her shoulder at him. Her heart did a little series of thumps and flips as she gazed into his blue eyes and bright smile. Not a lot of people found him handsome like she did, but there was no one who could compete with her Mistah J. She loved him completely and she would be lost without him. He wasn’t just her lover, he was her partner, her companion, the only person in all the world who understood her, even when she didn’t understand herself. He saw all the things about her that were dark and frightening and he loved her for them, just as she loved his darkness, his pain. No one would ever--or could ever--take his place she thought as she kissed him. No one. She leaned back and kissed Joker again. He kept one hand in her hair, caressing the back of her neck with his fingertips while he returned her kiss. Harley moaned softly against his mouth enjoying the taste of his tongue, the soft caress of his lips while Joker lifted her leg over his hip and shifted up to slide his erection into her. 

Harley moaned leaning back against him, her back pressed against his chest while Joker held the back of her head with one hand and laid her leg across him. Joker wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her close while he thrust into her slipping his leg between hers. 

They continued to kiss, the couch making little groans and squeaks as he thrust into Harley and held her tightly to keep her pressed against him, not just to make she he didn’t knock her off the couch, but to keep her close to him, to feel that warm creamy pink flesh of hers against his cool white skin. He only broke the kiss to press soft butterfly kisses along her shoulder, his hand loosening from around her waist to slide down along her hip and the leg that was across him, his fingers sliding lower until he could touch her, fingers pressing against her clitoris. He rolled his fingers in a slow, soft circle while he thrust into her wet warmth, his lips and teeth playing along the slope of her shoulder. He felt a welling up of emotion, his love for her overwhelming every other thought and feeling at the moment. She was the most important person in his life. If Batman ever figured out just how deeply he cared for her, he would then know the one and only way to hurt Joker was to hurt Harley...that would be when all the games between them would stop...the moment Batman really and truly hurt Harley, Joker didn’t care--he would kill Batman. 

But for now, he pushed those thoughts away and focused on the fun, the fucking of his girl and the game they were about to play with Batsy. 

Harley leaned back, gasping as Joker thrust into her, holding her firmly while at the same time touching her, his fingers sliding against her, caressing her and sending rolling waves of pleasure through her. He picked up speed, thrusting a little faster, his lips gliding from her shoulder to her ear. He ran his tongue along the lobe of her ear, before his teeth playfully tugged against her ear. 

He released her ear and hissed. “Harley...mm...my girl.” 

She could feel the caress of his voice, the warmth of his breath tickled across her skin, the heat of his body, his erection shoving into her, thrusting, pushing against and her filling her, finding the deep places of her body and touching her in ways that made her quake. She whimpered leaning back, the building pleasure was like waiting for one of Joker’s bombs to explode. There was that excitement of anticipation, twisted in a warm embrace with the tension of knowing what was coming, needing that fulfillment of an explosion. 

Harley moaned. “Oh puddin...uh!” 

She came with a burst of pleasure, arching her back, her eyes fluttering as she cried out. 

Joker groaned, feeling that delightful flood of warmth from her wash over him. He moved his hand from her clitoris and wrapped his fingers around her middle, yanking her as close as possible against him, thrusting harder and faster until he snarled and hissed, his own orgasm yanked from him, causing him to flood her. 

They moved together riding their shared orgasms until they simply collapsed against the couch. Joker snuggled as close as possible, kissing her ear, then her shoulder. He shifted his arms around careful to stay inside her as he wrapped his arms tighter around her with a happy sigh. “Mm...still want to watch the movie?” he asked kissing a line along her shoulder. 

Harley had closed her eyes, a contented smile on her lips. “If you want puddin.” 

Joker whispered against her ear. “Want to go to bed and try for around two?” 

Harley giggled. “Round two sounds fun!” 

* 

Harley came hopping down the stairs from their living quarters upstairs and made her way through the henchmen's living room and through the kitchen, heading toward Bob’s room located at the back of the hideout. She looked adorable today--if she did say so herself--with her hair up in ponytails, a pair of leggings, one side black, the other red and an oversized red and black hoodie. She had chosen a pair of red and black booties with white fur on the insides. She had a lollipop in her mouth as she skipped up to Bob’s bedroom door. 

The door was painted white with a sign hanging from it that had been trimmed in fuzzy pink feathers and little fairy lights that twinkled with Bob’s name in the middle written in cursive with pink and purple glitter. There were also a few stickers on the door depicting fairies, ballerinas and guns; lots and lots of guns. 

Harley smiled around her sucker and knocked with three quick knocks then she stuck her hand into the pocket of her hoodie and waited. She could hear music on the other side of the door, the sounds of Abba singing one of Bob’s favorite songs, “Ring Ring.” Harley grinned dancing in place to the music as she waited for Bob to answer the door. 

The door was pulled open and Harley saw Bob in the doorway with a happy smile on his face. Today he was dressed in his sewing tutu which consisted of a pair of jeans (with holes in the knees), a white t-shirt where he had several hundred pins stuck all over his large stomach, a bright blue tulle tutu, a blue bandana tied around his bald head, and a pair of white sneakers. When he saw Harley, Bob’s face lit up and he grabbed her by her up her arms, lifting her off her feet and into his arms, pressing her against his chest and stomach hugging her until Harley thought he would crush her ribs. 

“Hey Bob!” Harley giggled and gasped. “Okay, I can’t breathe!” 

Bob smiled and set her down on her feet followed by him patting her on the head. Harley smiled and pulled out a wrapped sucker for him. Bob’s face lit up again, this time even brighter as he clapped his hands. 

Harley laughed. “It’s grape, your favorite too!” 

Bob put the fingers of both hands to his lips in happy surprise. 

Harley giggled and asked, “So, the outfit’s done?” 

Bob carefully unwrapped the sucker she had handed him sticking the bright round purple candy into his mouth and very carefully folding the wrapper which he slipped into the pocket of his jeans. He nodded and curled his finger at her. Harley smiled and followed Bob inside. 

Bob’s room would have made almost any little girl green with jealousy. The walls were painted white and pale pink with pictures of My Little Pony (lots of Pinkie Pie, Bob’s favorite character), the bed in the middle of the room was a large white canopy bed with a lacy pink and purple comforter and lots and lots of pillows. Dominating the middle of the bed was the largest stuffed Pinkie Pie pony Harley had even seen. She remembered when Joker had gotten it for Bob for the big man’s birthday. Everyone had been sure that Bob was going to break Joker when the big man tackled her puddin and hugged him. It had been sweet and hilarious as Harley recalled watching her puddin allow himself to be loved and cuddled like a puppy by Bob. Next to her Bob was the only person Joker ever allowed to hug him (or pat his head which Bob seemed fond of doing). There was a white desk, a large TV, several game systems and a large, old fashioned looking sewing machine where Bob made all his tutu’s and anything else that Joker required. 

Standing out like dark holes against the room’s fluffy white and pink were to two outfits that Joker had requested. Joker’s outfit was almost exactly how Harley had described it to Bob, black leather and spikes, while her outfit was similar, but with splashes of red. The two costumes looked as if Bob had simply plucked them from her head. Harley gasped. She hadn’t been sure she had been clear with her descriptions to Bob--one never knew if he understood or not sometimes, but it was clear he had understood her perfectly. 

“Oh Bob! These are amazing! Mistah J is going to be so impressed!” Harley clapped her hands hopping in place. 

Bob grinned and blushed around the sucker in his mouth. 

Harley giggled. “Bob, you are the best!” She hopped up and planted a kiss on the big man’s cheek which had him blushing and grinning even more. 

* 

Sitting on the main room’s couch was Bob with a glass bottle of cola with a neon green bendy straw sticking out of the top. He sipped on the drink happily as he waited. Frost, who was sitting beside him, glanced sideways at the big man. Bob was still wearing his work tutu, the bandana still on his head. Bob’s gaze was on the stairs waiting for the Boss and Miss Harley to come down. The big man was practically vibrating with anticipation, Frost could feel it though the big man didn’t move much except to sip his soda. 

Frost waited patiently, his elbows resting on his knees, fingertips touching as he waited. He had heard from the Boss that he was going to put a better Batman outfit together in order to fight crime, which caused Frost’s stomach to drop out. Every time that the Boss got an idea in his head like this it meant a headache for Frost, especially when he didn’t want Frost tagging along. Harley and Joker could get into so much trouble...it was like being the father to a pair of very violent, murderous toddlers. 

Frost reached forward to pick up his own soda, brought to him along with a bright neon pink bendy straw, by Bob, and waited. He had just taken a sip when the door that led to Joker and Harley’s part of the hideout banged open and a dark shadow appeared at the top of the stairs. Frost looked up and gasped, dropping his drink as a figure from nightmares stood on the landing. The slim figure was covered in black leather, the eyes hidden from view by a band of spikes across the eyes. The ears were pointed, nightmare things, but it was the pale chin and blood red smile that sent Frost’s blood to ice. The laugh that followed chilled him further. 

Joker laughed and pointed down at Frost. “Now that is the reaction I was looking for!” 

Joker turned and reached into the room grabbing Harley and pulled her out onto the landing with him. Frost shuddered when he saw her. Her outfit was similar to the Boss’s, but while he was all darkness, her outfit had bits of red, reminding Frost of bloody wounds. 

The two of them came down the stairs with Harley walking behind Joker, one hand resting on his shoulder until they were in the living room. Joker took her hand and held his arms out. 

“So Frost my darling, what do you think? Scary?” Joker asked with a wide grin. 

Frost stood up. “Ah yeah Boss, scary. How can you both see?” 

Joker tapped a finger against the band that was across his eyes. “There are little slits that Bob put in so we can both see. Bob is such a gift aren't you Bob?” 

Bob had stood up and was inspecting Harley when he glanced over at Joker with a wide grin accompanied by a blush. 

Frost frowned, he knew he needed to ask this question, but he hated to. “So ah, what are you and Miss Quinn planning?” 

Joker grinned. “Well that’s simple Frost darling. We are going to clean up Gotham. Do what the Bat clearly can’t!” 

Frost sighed and muttered under his breath. “That’s exactly what I was afraid of.” 

* 

The night wind blew along the streets of Gotham, clouds slowly drifted across the face of the moon casting the city sky in darkness. Two figures cast in shadows, one stood on the edge of a building looking down on the streets of Gotham below, the smaller figure was crouched beside the taller one, the breeze catching their capes and whipping them behind them. 

The Joker grinned, knowing the spiked mask across his eyes made him creepier than usual. His red lips stood out harsh against his white skin as he looked out at the cityscape of Gotham. 

“I am the night! I am The Batman Who Laughs!” Joker laughed loud enough that the sound echoed along the streets. 

Harley, who had one leg up on the ledge doing her best to look dramatic giggled, then, after a couple of moments she sighed looking out at the Gotham skyline. “So what now puddin?” 

She turned to look up at Joker who frowned in thought. He sighed and dropped down to sit on the ledge, his long legs hanging over the side. “No wonder Batman likes to beat the shit out of anyone he gets a hold of. After standing up here forever with nothing to do, finally getting a hold of a bad guy must be a relief.” 

Harley giggled in response as she moved around to sit next to him on the ledge, letting her legs dangle off the edge too, though she reached over with one leg and hooked her ankle around his ankle. Joker smiled at her though not being able to see his eyes was creepy she thought. 

He sighed. “I can’t believe nothing is happening anywhere in Gotham right now.” 

Harley opened her mouth to reply with some words of encouragement when something caught her attention. She gasped and pointed just as the Batmobile zipped down the street. 

“Puddin! It’s Batsy!!” She grabbed his shoulder as she pointed. 

Joker clapped. “Goodie!! Come on Harls! Where the Bat is there is trouble. Time to show Gotham the real crime fighters!” 

He jumped to his feet, reaching down to grab Harley’s hand and yanked her up. They both raced for the door that led downstairs. 

* 

A couple of minutes later they are zooming down the street in hot pursuit of Batman. Joker grinned twisting the handles of the motorcycle, making the engine snarl like a great beast. The bike had been altered to fit Joker’s new persona, a modified Honda Valkyrie, black with hints of red, green and purple laced in its design, a gift from Frost and Bob to go with the Batman Who Laughs outfit. Joker’s grin spread across his face as he hit the gas. Harley pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t yelp, tightening her grip around Joker’s waist as the bike seemed to jump forward like a wild animal. 

* 

Batman’s focus was on the police scanner and not a motorcycle that was following behind him. The police scanner was currently reporting that for some unknown reason Firefly was on a rampage, burning down construction sites throughout Gotham. He was last sighted at the site of a Big Belly Burger building site. 

Robin frowned. “Why on earth is he burning down construction sites?” 

Batman frowned as he murmured. “Firefly is an arsonist who has turned his passion into a criminal focus. He used to work in pyrotechnics, but poverty and bad judgment caused him to make poor choices. He lost his mind after an accident and he started to believe he could see things in the flames, as if the fire was trying to tell him the future. Apparently there is something he wants to know badly enough that he is setting fires...why construction sites, I don’t know…” He sighed. “The man needs help and it is up to us to stop him and get him to Arkham to get the help he needs.” 

Robin nodded with a grave look. The younger man was quiet as the car sped through the streets of Gotham when he noticed the tricked out bike behind them. He frowned wondering if he should say something when a bright flare of light caught his attention. He turned and saw the flames ahead of them. 

“Oh crap,” Robin muttered as Batman drove toward the fire. 

* 

Harley pointed over Joker’s shoulder. “Puddin, look!” 

Joker grinned as the glow from the fire ahead of him lit up the sky. “A fire! Perfect! There must be an arsonist or else Batman wouldn't it be on his way there! We need to get there first my sweets! Show the Gotham PD what the Batman Who Laughs can do!” 

Joker hit the gas. The bike leapt forward with a growl. Joker was laughing with delight as they quickly came up on Batman’s tail. Harley was staring wide eyed behind her mask, her chin on Joker’s shoulder as she watched the tail fins of the Batmobile raced up in front of them, but at the last second Joker turned the bike to the right yelling so Harley could hear him. “I know a shortcut sweets! Just hold on!” 

Harley’s grip tightened around his waist and she closed her eyes while the bike roared like a beast out of hell. She could feel the power of it between her legs, the wind ripping across the exposed parts of her face. Harley cringed a little, but she trusted Joker to know how to handle the bike. She still kept her eyes closed until she felt the bike begin to slow down. It seemed to only take them seconds before Joker was killing the bike’s engine and hopping off, pulling Harley along with him. Harley gasped as Joker took her hand and tugged her along into the shadows near the burning construction site around the corner of one of the buildings. They could also see a handful of Gotham PD cars and police having formed a protective circle around the construction site where a few pedestrians stood about gaping at the fiery display as well as the blue and red lights from the police cars. 

Both of them were quiet as they watched the fire and the cops when Joker smiled and spotted something. He pointed up in the air where a figure stood on a construction beam dressed in a pure silver outfit that covered the person from head to toe. It was hard to see from their vantage point, but Harley was sure that the eyes on the man’s helmet looked like red bug eyes. It gave her the creeps. 

Joker smiled wide. The spiky mask over his eyes made him look frightening as he pointed, his voice low and whispery. “There! Ah, it’s that dork Firefly. That idiot, gets a hard on when everything is burning. I can see the appeal of fire, nothing better than watching Gotham in flames, but really? Fire is the only way he can get it up? Man needs some serious help. Mm...so what to do…” Joker leaned back around the corner his back up against the wall of the building they were hiding behind. 

Harley chewed her bottom lip then grinned as an idea came to her. “What about the dart gun?” 

Joker gasped and grabbed Harley, made her squeak in surprise as he pulled her up against him, wrapping his arms around her and kissed her hard on the mouth. The spikes on their creepy masks clicked together as they turned their heads to kiss. Harley melted against her clown, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and returning his kiss, her tongue sliding into his mouth and smearing her lipstick against his mouth. 

Joker made a soft moan of pleasure, pulling back to slide his tongue along her lips. “That is a perfect idea my sweet pumpkin. You are always so clever my sweet girl.” 

Harley giggled, smiling under his praise as she momentarily pushed her spiked mask up. “Thank you puddin.” 

Joker reached up and gently pulled her mask back into place. 

“All right my girl--the dart gun!” Joker grinned as Harley reached around him sticking her tongue out toward him at the same time. Joker flicked his tongue against hers while she took the gun off his belt where it sat against his lower back and leaned back to place the small black and purple weapon (that looked more like a child’s toy than an actual working device) in his waiting hand. Joker held up the gun with a wide grin. He pulled one of several darts that lined the left side of the black belt that hung around his waist. The dart was no bigger than the top knuckle of his forefinger consisting of what looked like a glass vial filled with a brightly glowing neon green liquid and a deadly looking metal tip. Joker shook the dart once grinning as he watched the green liquid inside slosh around before he slipped the aerodynamic dart into the gun. 

“This should pierce right through his clothing,” Joker said with a satisfied smile. “I designed these to pierce through Batman’s armour so I’m sure our old fiery friend there has nothing compared to old Batsy.” 

Harley nodded in agreement as she listened. 

He grinned at Harley holding the weapon up. “Watch this sweets.” 

Harley giggled and watched as Joker took aim. 

* 

Firefly laughed as he watched the construction site burn from his position on one of the metal beams, giving him an almost perfect view of the destruction below him. The flames licked higher and higher into the dark Gotham night, creating something truly beautiful, he thought with satisfaction. He just couldn’t understand why no one else saw the beauty in fire, the way it destroyed everything, but at the same time created something new! Fire was cleansing and that was what he was doing. Not only was he burning to see into the future, his future, he was burning to cleanse Gotham, to clean away the rot, the poison that was seeping into Gotham’s veins!! The fire always showed him what his next target for cleansing should be, where he was needed most. If only people would understand, if only Batman understood, what he did, he did for Gotham’s sake! He was going to save it! 

Firefly smiled as he watched the flames below him. It was the most beautiful sight he had seen in a long time. The last two fires he had set this evening were nothing compared to this one, in no small part because in these flames he could see his future clearly! A future filled with fire!!! He stepped off the beam he had been standing on and flew just a little higher above the flames just as the police spoke into their speaker. 

“Firefly! You are under arrest! Come down now!” 

Firefly snickered as he reached behind to his twin tanks to hit the control that monitored how much flammable liquid came through his piping and into his nozzle. He could only imagine what the police cars would like look surrounded in flames. 

He brought the nozzle of his flamethrower up, hovering just out of the Gotham PD range. His eyes widened with a grin. There, just a little out of his reach, was Batman! He brought the nozzle up, ready to rain down hellfire from above when he felt something small hit him in the shoulder. The pain was nothing, a slight sting, but the effects were nearly instantaneous--he began to giggle. Firefly blinked in confusion as the laughter quickly went from giggles that bubbled up and popped to a guffaw that was almost like a cough, to a full belly laugh that shook his entire body. He lost control of his flight for a moment as the burst of laughter sent him rocketing skyward, only to drop down and zig zag across the Gotham night sky as laughter erupted from him in loud bursts. 

* 

Down below Batman had just exited his vehicle, with Robin jumping out quickly at the same time. They had just begun to make their way over to the burning construction site, Batman forming a plan on how to bring down Firefly when the arsonist began to fly around erratically. Batman frowned then. He, like everyone else here, could hear the sound of Firefly’s laughter. Robin had come around the Batmobile to walk beside Batman, his gaze on the now erratically behaving Firefly. He frowned, watching as Firefly bobbed up and down in the air the sound of bubbling giggles echoed along the walls of the buildings. 

“What’s he doing?” Robin asked in confusion. 

Batman narrowed his eyes behind his mask, watching the arsonist as he hissed. “I don’t know, but I’m beginning to think Joker might have something to do with this.” Batman didn’t move for a moment as he watched Firefly before he turned to Robin. “Go assist the police. I’m going to do a quick search; all we need is the Clown Prince and his Princess running around here making this more difficult than it needs to be.” 

Robin gave Batman a sharp nod before he took off at a jog to help the police. Batman turned and pulled out his grappling hook, aiming it toward a rooftop. The best thing for him to do was to get a bird’s eye view of the scene and to see if Joker was lurking about. 

* 

“So puddin, how are we going to let them know it was you?” Harley glanced up at the rapidly descending Firefly, wondering if the arsonist was going to land in his own fire as his laughter became louder and more erratic, along with his flying. 

“Well, if they can’t figure out it’s me by the way old Firebutt is going to look when they finally bring him down, then we are going to also leave a tag.” Joker grinned pulling out what looked like a small can of breath spray. 

Joker held up the little can for Harley’s inspection with a smile. “I converted one of my cans of Joker venom into spray paint, but…” Here he leaned toward Harley with a giggling whisper. “This is spray paint, but it’s laced with my venom too, so anyone who comes too close to inspect the tag is going to get a low dose of venom. It’ll put a smile on their face. Just another little way to make sure the police and our dear old Batsy know it is me! Can’t have our crime fighting go unnoticed!” 

Harley giggled along with him as Joker drew a Batman head with excessively tall pointy ears followed by a simple version of the spiky mask that Joker was currently wearing. Underneath he wrote, “The Batman Who Laughs was Here!” 

Joker took a step back to inspect his work. “Whaddaya think Harley?” 

Harley clapped her hands, her eyes glittering behind her spiked mask. “It’s perfect!” 

Joker slipped the can back into the slot around his belt. He chuckled. “You know? I like having a utility belt, might have to see about incorporating one into my regular suit.” He spun around and grabbed Harley’s hand. “Come along my sweet! More crimes need our attention!” 

* 

Batman heard the roar of a motorcycle engine. He frowned and hurried across the rooftops arriving at the edge just as he saw a bike with two black figures take off into the night. He frowned, his eyes narrowed. He dropped down to the street below to look around, his cape flaring out to cushion his fall. They may have simply been some Gothamites who had stopped by to observe the spectacle that Firefly was putting on, or they may have been something more. He turned around, ready to inspect the area and stopped dead still when he saw the neon green, slightly glowing image painted on the side of the building. He walked closer cautiously his mouth set into a thin line. 

As he stepped closer to the image, he caught the faint scent of cotton candy. He reacted within seconds, pulling out a breath filter from his belt to place it over his mouth and nose. Batman mentally snarled to himself: Joker. Joker’s venom always had a cloyingly sweet scent of cotton candy about it. 

He walked closer to the tag, touching the image lightly with his gloved fingers. He pulled his fingers away to see a few drops of paint were stuck to his glove. The tag was still wet, which meant it was recent. He wiped his fingers on the wall as he studied the image. The Batman Who Laughs? What was that madman on about now, he wondered. His eyes narrowed as he remembered April Fools day when Joker and a few of the other rogues had tried to be vigilantes. Batman cursed to himself, shit...Joker had to be at it again, that had to be what this meant…he needed to find that clown and his girlfriend quickly. 

* 

Joker and Harley pulled into a convenience store parking lot, parking their bike along the back of the store. Harley hopped off the bike nearly before her puddin had put the stand down, and stretched her arms over her head, cracking her back with a groan. 

“Thanks for stopping puddin, a slushie is really going to hit the spot!” Harley grinned happily. “Crime fighting is so tiring and tedious!” 

Joker followed her off the bike as soon as he had turned off the engine. He twisted one way then the other causing his cape to flutter as he cracked his back as well before bending down to touch his toes. “Mm, I hope they have that blue raspberry, that’s my favorite!” 

Harley nodded stretching to the side one way then the other. “Yeah, but I want a coke cola one. I like cola slushies the best.” 

Joker nodded. “Yes, but they don’t turn your tongue blue, which is half the fun!” 

He stopped stretching to watch Harley. The black leather of her suit hugged her hips and rear nicely. He stepped closer and pulled her cape up so he could have a better view of her backside while she bent over to touch her toes. She turned slightly, her spike mask hiding her eyes, but her grin was clear. “What are you doing puddin?” 

He shrugged. “Admiring the view toots, admiring the view.” 

He reached over with his free hand and gave her rear a good hard squeeze. Harley yelped with a laugh jumping away from him. 

“Stop that!” she squealed. 

Joker chuckled giving her cape a playful tug. “Come along sweets, crime fighting requires slushies!” 

She skipped closer and took his hand. Joker swung their joined hands as they walked around the side of the building. 

* 

Batman sighed. He had just left the site of the latest victim of Joker and his new persona, The Batman Who Laughs. The woman had apparently run a red light from what some eyewitnesses had said, which Joker and Harley saw as crime enough to ping her with one of their darts, leaving the woman with a distorted face and laughing so hard she could barely breathe. That had only been the latest tonight, however. There had been a mugger, a jaywalker, and someone who had been trying to steal a car, all of them left doped with Joker venom and a Batman Who Laughs tag nearby. All the victims that had been found with distorted features and laughing uncontrollably, and those were just the ones that had been found alive. There was also the tagger that had been found dead against the wall, his tag had been drawn over with The Batman Who Laughs tag, and the young man had been left dead, a bright red grin on his face. There had been at least two more dead muggers, and one potential rapist whose victim had stuck around waiting for the police so she could sing the praises of The Batman Who Laughs and his girlfriend. Here Batman noticed, Joker had not tagged the area; thus the woman had not been poisoned by Joker toxin...interesting and odd. If he were honest, it was also slightly annoying. Joker had deliberately left that woman alone just so she could tell him all about how Joker...or rather, The Batman Who Laughs, saved her. 

It was all enough to give Batman a raging headache. 

Robin frowned and glanced sideways at Batman as they drove, following the trail and hoping to catch Joker before he Jokerized another victim. Robin debated whether he should make a comment or not, but sometimes his mouth started before his brain caught up... 

“Do you think we’ll catch them Batman?” Robin asked quietly. 

Batman nodded. “I do. At some point, he is going to get bored and make a mistake.” 

Robin nodded and whispered to himself. “I hope you’re right.” 

* 

The cashier at the convenience store, Ronald, yelped when the two costumed figures looking like rejects from a Hellraiser movie walked in, but when they waved merrily at him and headed to the back of the store where the slushie machines were located, he relaxed. Maybe they had just come from a party, or maybe they were just kinky; he didn’t judge. He had only been living in Gotham for the last six months, but he still wasn’t accustomed to the number of truly eccentric people that lived in this city. He had moved here from Riverdale in the hopes of jump starting his acting career, but in that entire time he had been trying to pay his rent and eat, only having earned a couple of acting gigs in all those months. Gotham was hard to adjust to, so many strange and eccentric people, he felt like he was the most normal thing in Gotham. 

He hated this job though, with a passion. Working the night shift at this place was an exercise in stress. He hadn’t been robbed yet, but one of the girls, Karen, had been robbed a handful of times and had told him some scary stories. Ronald knew it was only a matter of time before he became the victim of a robbery here at work; the statistics were against him. That was the moment that the chime over the door rang again and he turned, his eyes widening as a man with a rubber Batman mask and a gun came in through the doors. 

Yep, the statistics were against old Ronald, he thought bitterly. 

* 

Joker and Harley stopped in front of the slushie machine, both of them sighing with disappointment. The only flavors available where pina colada and cherry. 

Joker sighed. “I guess I’ll have to settle for cherry. What about you cupcake?” 

Harley wrinkled her nose behind her spiky mask. “Me too puddin. Who would want a pina colada slushie? Eww.” She shivered to show her compete revulsion in regards to the idea of pina colada slushies. 

Joker shook his head as he grabbed two slushie cups, handing one to Harley. “There are some weird people out there my pumpkin, some real sickos.” 

After they had gotten their slushies, the two of them made their way to the front of the store, slushies in hand. The young man at the cash register was standing very rigidly as they approached. 

Joker frowned for a moment, not registering the man in the rubber Batman mask for a couple of seconds until the man turned, his gun aimed at the two of them. 

“Hands up you--bondage freaks--and hand over your cash!” The man’s voice was muffled by the rubber mask. 

Joker frowned. “Oh now wait a minute, you’re not Batman! Is he Harls?! I mean, I know Batman and I’m pretty sure you ain’t him.” 

Harley gasped looking between the masked gunman and Joker. “He isn’t? Are you sure puddin?” 

Joker shook his head. “No he isn’t sweets. I’m sure. I would know Batman anywhere and he isn’t Batman. You are a false knave!!” Joker pointed dramatically at the gunman. 

The guy in the mask waved his gun at them. “Shut the fuck up and give me your money NOW or I’ll shoot!” 

Joker handed his slushie to Harley with a wide smile. “Harls my dear, I think it’s time for some justice!” 

Harley responded with a delighted giggle. 

The rubber face Batman shot. Joker shoved Harley out of the way, sent her sprawling, their slushies hit the floor and spilled splashing her not only in the face, but all over the front of her outfit. As the shot went just wide of Joker’s shoulder, he yanked on the chain that was wrapped around his waist, pulling it free, and with a laugh he snapped the chain out. This was the first time he had be able to use it all evening! The end of the heavy chain hit the gunman in the side knocking him into the counter where Ronald let out a high pitched scream that surprisingly didn’t shatter the glass. The gunman turned and fired again at Joker who weaved to the side, giggling with delight as he snapped the chain back. The end of it caught the gunman across the face, ripping into the mask and some of the skin behind it. The man let out a scream of pain, blood instantly soaking through the cut in the rubber and rushing down his neck under the mask to stain the collar of his shirt. He fired again at Joker. This time one of the bullets hit Joker in the shoulder, but the bullet rang off one of the many buckles on Joker’s outfit and ricochet tore through the store. Ronald was continuing to scream, his hands on his head as he crouched behind the counter. 

Harley got to her feet. She was covered in red slushie, and she was pissed. She turned to see Joker and the “Batman” playing. She was tired of playing tonight, she was tired of this damn suit (though she hadn’t said anything to Joker since he seemed to still be having fun.) She was tired of the spiky masks since they made it really hard to kiss and she was ready to go home and take a bubble bath. AND on top of all of it, she had lost her slushie even if she had to settle for cherry! Now this asshole had decided to try to rob this place and was shooting at her puddin. Harley had had enough. 

She stomped over to the counter where Ronald was cowering and looked around quickly for a weapon. She saw two things that made her grin. First, she grabbed one of the cheap lighters that sat in a bowl with a sign taped to it with 50 cent written on it, then she grabbed one of the many cans of lighter fuel that were arranged on a shelf built into the counter. She walked closer to where Joker was laughing, flinging his chain around trying to hit the fake Batman, while the fake Batman was ducking and weaving while shooting. The two of them were creating a huge mess with boxes of rice, cereal, and exploded bags of chips littering the aisles as well as a few broken bottles of soda and the shattered glass from the cold section of the store. 

She didn’t hesitate to act; as soon as she was close enough Harley pulled the plastic cover off the lighter fluid, held it up and squeezed, sending a stream of liquid at the rubber faced Batman. 

The man in the mask let out a startled yelp. 

“What the fuck bitch!” He yelled bringing his weapon around to fire at her. 

Harley was quicker. 

She narrowed her eyes and held the lighter up to the stream of lighter fluid. The result was instantaneous. The fluid caught fire and began to burn, followed the trail of fluid until it hit the robber, now covered in the liquid. The flame raced over the liquid, burning brightly across the man’s body. The rubber masked Batman burst into flames like a kerosene soaked rag. 

Joker gasped and began to clap hopping up and down. “Oh, look at him go!” 

The burning man stumbled around screaming. His flaming body running into aisles of chips and cereals. Everything he touched began to burn. 

Joker laughed. “Well, you know what they say! Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life!” 

Harley turned to Joker, now ignoring the burning man who was stumbling through the store setting everything on fire. “I’m tired puddin! I’m covered in slushie and I want to go home. Now.” 

Joker saw she was indeed covered in red slushie. He chuckled softly, but didn't make a joke about the slushie dripping off of her, having enough sense to know that was a rather bad idea. By now the rubber faced Batman had caught nearly every aisle on fire. Ronald’s screaming had reached a pitch that probably only dogs could hear Joker mused. 

He smiled, pulling the spiked mask up. “All right Harls, you’re right, we should go home. Being a crime fighter is tedious.” 

Harley pulled her mask off too with a smile and tossed it into the fire. Joker did the same coming over and taking her hand in his own. “Let’s go sweets.” 

They walked to the front of the store which was now nearly completely engulfed in flames, not seeming to notice the flames behind them. They pushed the glass doors open and walked outside, but Joker stopped mid step and turned. 

“Hold on sweets. Going to do one more good deed.” He winked at her and stepped back inside, coming out a few seconds later with Ronald in tow. He patted the young man on the shoulder. 

“There you go my dear. You guys need to consider changing your slushie machines. I mean, who likes pina colada?! How many of those slushies do you actually sell?” Joker shook his head. 

“Anyway, take care of yourself darling.” 

Joker took Harley’s hand. “Come on my pumpkin, let’s go home. Being good is just too damn exhausting.” 

Harley grinned brightly and waved at Ronald. “Bye!” 

Ronald stared at them as they walked around the corner of the building. It wasn’t until they had disappeared that his knees gave out and he collapsed to the pavement. 

* 

Batman frowned, watching as the ambulance took the store clerk away. The Gotham fire department was doing their best to put the flames out, but it looked like the store was a total loss, the fire having damaged the supporting structure and nearly everything else. The only clues Batman had found linking this to the Joker was the Batman Who Laughs tag he had left on the asphalt, the toxicity of which had affected two of the firemen before he had been able to isolate it and covered it with some of his antitoxin. The store’s clerk, Ronald, had been too hysterical to get much out of except there were two Batman figures fighting, and the homeless man he had found a couple of blocks from here, dressed in a costume that had been described to him by witnesses as belonging to the Batman Who Laughs, which meant Joker and Harley had stripped before leaving the area...and still Batman had not caught them. The homeless man had described a ghost having given him the costumes, a ghost man with green hair and a ghost girl wearing a red bra and panties. Best dream he had ever had the man had claimed. 

Batman sighed. 

God damn clown, he thought to himself.


End file.
